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November 18, 2015

Title: Just Show Up
Topic: Book Review

Discussed by Jill Lynn Buteyn
with Jill Lynn Buteyn (www.jill-lynn.com)

Part 1 of 3

Jill Lynn Buteyn has experienced heartache first-hand. Jill’s dear friend and co-author of Just Show Up: the Dance of Walking through Suffering Together, Kara Tippetts, lost her battle with breast cancer in March 2015. Jill recalls their friendship and the circumstances that lead them to write their book together.

When you have a friend or family member who has an incurable disease, such as cancer, it is often difficult to know what to say or how to help. Of course it is easier to be around people when times are good, but when hard times hit, that is when we are needed the most. Jill remembers asking God to show her how to help Kara. “It’s not up to us to know what to say and do. Ask God what He wants you to do and He will meet you there. He will make it beautiful.” You don’t have to do a lot. Just show up and be present.

However, it is a two-way street. If you are the one suffering, suck it up and accept help from others. Jill expands on this in the next segment, so tune in!

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Title: Part 2 of 3 - Just Show Up
Topic: Book Review

Discussed by Jill Lynn Buteyn
with Jill Lynn Buteyn (www.jill-lynn.com)

Just being there for a friend or family member who is suffering hardship is the best thing you can do. Your presence is better than anything else you can offer. Jill Lynn Buteyn says, “There's peace and support in being with each other - from both sides. We cannot fix it…our friend role is to support them.”

You will not always say the right thing. You will mess up and hurt their feelings. “That’s why the book is called the dance of suffering,” Jill says. You will feel awkward and wonder if you are doing all you can. Remember that prayer heals, not only physically but emotionally and spiritually. Offer prayer and friendship. Those are the most important things.

Jill talks about being specific in her book. Don’t just ask a blanket “What can I do to help?” Be specific. If you love to cook, take them a meal. If you love to clean, tell them you’ll be over on a certain day to clean their house or do the laundry. This makes it easier for your friend or loved one to actually accept your help.

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Title: Part 3 of 3 - Just Show Up
Topic: Book Review

Discussed by Jill Lynn Buteyn
with Jill Lynn Buteyn (www.jill-lynn.com)

Jill Lynn continues to discuss why it is so important to be specific when offering help to a friend or loved one who is suffering hardship. On the flip-side, it is just as important for the person who is suffering to accept help from others. Do not try to do it all on your own. You can’t. Tell your friends what you need; don’t be shy and beat around the bush. Just tell them. They will jump at the chance to help you out, I guarantee it. “When we refuse to accept their offer to help, we are stealing someone else’s joy,” Jill declares. Don’t be joy-stealer!

Jill also discusses some of the good and bad things people say to those suffering. “We don’t have to have the perfect, Biblical words to say to someone,” Jill believes. However, there are only so many times a person can hear the phrase “God won’t give you more than you can handle” or “All things work together for good” or “Look at all the good this person is spreading to others through their suffering”. While these are true, people do not want to hear that. Sometimes people just need a hug and to hear “I’m sorry”.

Click [here]  to order a copy of Just Show Up: the Dance of Walking through Suffering Together, by Jilly Lynn Buteyn and Kara Tippetts.

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